RWBY Watches Alternate Universes
by RXWriter
Summary: Read as teams RWBY, JNPR and friends watch different realities as they play different characters from shows and movies! I do not own RWBY or any of the franchises that are referenced.
1. Age Appropiate Date

**Two and a Half Men**

 **Season 5, Episode 3**

* * *

Chapter 1

"Where are we?"

Ruby asked as she just awoken to see herself and team in a row of chairs along with team JNPR and she was really confused as the rest woke up.

"Do you guys have any idea what happened?" Yang asked her friends as she turns on her guard.

"I can answer that"

Everyone looks up to see a figure in a cloak that covers his appearance as he descends down to the two teams.

"Who are you!" Weiss demanded as she tries to obtain her weapon, but finds it missing along with the rest of her friend's weapons.

"Hold on there. No need for hostility. Just give me a moment to explain what's going on" the being spoke as everyone calmed down a bit but were still sceptical.

"I am sorry for the sudden change from your normal lives but you guys have been chosen to view alternate universes but be warned you have to realize is that some of them may be bad or scary; but it does not mean it will become your life. Do not worry about people back in your universe; I plan on bringing some of your friends here when a clip involves them and until then: enjoy yourselves"

The being ascends as the others take in what the cloaked figure said and were all flabbergasted.

"Also, I assume you'll want some food and drinks, so I pulled some strings and have the room magically fix food for you. Happy viewings"

With that final note; the being finally disappears and leaves the room silent for a few moments.

"We can't really believe this right?" Jaune ponders as he takes in what he just heard.

"I mean the evidence is all there. The only thing we can do is believe him or be stuck here stranded with no possible way out" Blake deduces as she comes out of her shock.

"Blake is right; we don't have a choice here really" Ren pointed out as he already searched for any possible ways of escape but couldn't find any.

"Even if we did have a way to escape, no one here wants to take up this opportunity?" Nora asked "I mean this is a once in a lifetime deal, we should take up on it"

Everyone was processing idea and all came up with an answer.

"Nora is right; we should take up this opportunity" Pyrrah answered as she voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Then it's decided we stay and watch…without a TV?" Ruby announced and deflated as all there was in the room were the rows of chairs until a cinema sized screen appeared a few seconds later "Yay!" Ruby squealed as she sat excitedly on her seat along with everyone as the screen flares.

 **"Neptune, let's go" Sun called out to his roommate as he was dressed in a bowling shirt and cargo shorts.**

"Wait is that Sun?" Blake asks her friends as she was confused of seeing her crush….. **friend!** On the big screen.

"I don't know but the bigger question is what is he wearing?" Yang states as she stifling a laugh at the gold haired Faunus' clothing choice.

 **"Relax we've got plenty of time" Neptune replied as he was buttoning up his shirt and walking down the hallway.**

 **"I just don't want to be late" Sun says with somewhat worry.**

 **Neptune senses Sun's nervousness and was flabbergasted.**

 **"I can't believe it? You're nervous about a date"**

 _"Date!"_

Blake unintentionally shouted as she was faintly blushing as she didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Awwwwwww!" Both Ruby and Nora squealed out as they look at a bow blushing Blake.

"It's not like that! I mean…I was just surprised that….that that Sun had a date" Blake tried to justify her reaction but failed.

"Awwwww. Kitty cat likes monkey boy, that's so cute!" Yang teases her partner as she puts her arms around her which annoyed a now completely red Blake.

"Hey guys why is it paused?" Jaune asked everyone as they turn to the paused video.

"Your right, who paused it" Pyrrah spoke to everyone who were all confused before a tiny light appears in Jaune's hand which reveals to be a letter from the cloaked being.

 _'The video will pause when everyone is not focused on the screen'_

When Jaune finished reading the note aloud, everyone turns to the screen as Blake silently thanks the cloaked being and Jaune.

 **"Of course I'm nervous! What am I going to talk to her about? I haven't been out with a 40 year old woman since High School!"**

Everybody let that sink in as they turn to Blake.

"What?" Blake asked rather quietly as she was till processing that information.

Then everyone laughed.

"Hahahahaha! Sun dated a cougar!" Yang roars out as she puts her arms around Blake "You poor thing!"

"It's not like my- _our_! Our Sun dated a woman twice his age, it's just his inter-dimensional twin" Blake explained as everyone noticed her slip up but chose not to make light of it.

"Well I guess you're right. I mean why would Sun date an old cat while he has a young cat right here!" Yang once again joked around which now made everyone groan.

 **"Well Sun that's the great thing about seeing someone your own age. There's always something to talk about, because what you've been through, she's been through"**

 **Sun looks flummoxed about Neptune's reasoning.**

 **"Oh, I hardly think so"**

 **"OK, point taken" Neptune complies as he goes to get his belongings "But she's a fascinating woman. She's a municipal court judge, she teaches law at UCLA…."**

"Oh a judge?" Weiss now jumps in the torment of Blake "I hope that doesn't bother you too much-"

"You know Weiss? It looks to be a double date, so Neptune would also have a date as well as Sun" Blake interrupts Weiss as she takes the message and deflates in her seat in defeat….and jealousy!

 **"Oh man, you didn't tell me that!" Sun exclaims.**

 **"Does that make a difference?"**

 **"It makes a big difference. The smarter the girl, the harder it is to blow smoke up her ass!"**

Everyone takes a moment to let that one sink in.

"What does he mean?" Ruby asks Yang who was trying to hold in her laugh and jokes.

"Nothing Ruby" Yang told her sister as she decides to let the jokes slide this time as she's hoping there will be more embarrassing moments after this.

 **As Sun spoke his issue, it only made Neptune sigh and pity his friend's problem as a moment goes by before he decided to speak.**

 **"You know, I'm already regretting this"**

"Then call it off!" Both Blake and Weiss thought as they were in distress that their love interests were going on dates with inter-dimensional strangers!

 **"And for good reason, let's just call it off" Sun states as he walks to the stairs.**

Blake smiles but frowns when Yang see's her with stars in her eyes.

 **"No, no, no, it's too late for that. Just relax and, I don't know, be yourself. And by yourself, I mean someone else entirely" Neptune advised as he went up to his blonde friend.**

"That does seem to be good advice" Weiss states as she knows the monkey Faunus' personality and it doesn't exactly show well in a romantic date.

 **"Anything else?"**

 **"Well, as long we've opened this particular can of worms you might want to rethink the bowling shirt"**

 **Sun looks surprised as he inspects his shirt and sees nothing wrong with it.**

 **"Why?"**

 **"Well, as I said she's a judge and a law professor. And, let's be honest…. you don't bowl!" Neptune points out as Sun looks at him and goes to the stairs.**

"Wait if he doesn't bowl why does he wear it?" Ruby asks her friends who were all confused.

"I don't know may be similar to your skirts" Ren pointed out as Ruby and Weiss take offense to it.

"It's a combat skirt!" they both reply in unison as they high five each other.

 **"All right, I'll go change" Sun admits in defeat.**

 **"And Sun?"**

 **"Yeah?"**

 **"While you're at it, why don't we go for the big-boy pants" Neptune claims as Sun looks at his shorts and goes up to change.**

 **"Fine"**

"At least Neptune knows what he's talking about" Jaune states "No woman wants to have dinner with a man who wears shorts on a first date!"

Everyone looks at him in shock and disbelief.

"Hey!" Jaune retorts "I grew up with seven sisters! You learn a few things!"

 **Sun and Neptune enter a restaurant and we see Weiss and Blake sit in a table while wearing fancy clothing.**

"Hey look, it's you too" Ruby happily points out which relieves both Weiss and Blake.

 **"Oh, there they are" Neptune points as he heads towards them.**

 **"Hang on, hang on, hang on. Which one's mine?" Sun stops his friend by holding his shoulders.**

 **"The one on the right" Neptune answers as we see Weiss and Blake chatting.**

Blake was now starting to blush and Yang was now starting to squeal.

 **"Wow, she's 40?" Sun gasps out as he looks completely taken aback by the Cat Faunus' cat ears "She has the ears of a 20-year-old Faunus"**

Blake was taken aback by Sun's comment and everyone else. But then she looks up at her cat ears which was hidden by the bow and smiles at Sun's comment.

 **"Come on" Neptune encourages as he walks to their date**

 **"You think she had them done?" Sun asks as they both sit down opposite the girls.**

"Did you?" Yang asked but everyone chose to ignore her.

 **"Sorry we're late" Neptune apologized as he greets his date with a quick kiss**

"Oooooooooooooooooh" RBY all squealed in unison as Weiss was blushing lightly.

Jaune felt somewhat weird but had to remind himself, he had let Weiss go.

 **"Sun couldn't decide what to wear"**

 **"Oh, I think he looks very nice" Weiss complemented as she inspects Sun's clothing.**

 **Thank the Gods he chose to wear a suit.**

 **"Thank you" Sun replies in a cheerful tone.**

 **"Sun, this is Weiss" Neptune introduces his best friend to his date.**

 **"Hi, how are you?" Sun asks as he shakes her hand.**

 **"Hi. This is my friend, Blake" Weiss now introduces her cat eared friend.**

"This is it!" Blake happily thought but then stopped and thought "Why am I so happy?"

 **"Nice to meet you" Sun greets his date with a handshake to which she accepts.**

 **"Nice to meet you too" Blake shakes the Monkey Faunus' hand "I've heard a lot about you"**

 **"And I've heard a lot about you too" Sun responds as he and Neptune both pull out a seat and they both sit down "And, I gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised"**

 **"Really?" Blake looked happy "How so?"**

 **"Well, Neptune tells me you're a judge and a professor and, quite frankly, I wasn't expecting someone so….eh" Sun was at lost for words.**

"Uh oh" Yang uttered as she was smiling to see what Sun would say next.

Everyone knew the monkey Faunus' personality and feelings for Blake and they were all pretty sure that this Sun Wukong was going to embarrass himself.

"Please don't say anything bad!" Blake was practically praying for things not to start badly

 **"So, what, Sun?" Blake was confused of Sun's answer.**

 **"Ehm" Sun was still at crossroads and in the end he said the worst possible thing ever.**

 **"Yummy"**

 **Everyone took a moment to fully sink in what Sun had said.**

Everyone erupted into laughter after hearing that and Blake put her head down.

"Blake….!We're sorry….! It's just that…! Hahahahah!" Pyrrah tried to apologise to Blake but was to consumed by laughter.

"I don't care if wasn't really you, I am going to kill you Sun!" Blake thought to herself as she was going to make Sun pay for embarrassing her and her other dimensional self.

 **"That was wrong, wasn't it?" Sun asked Neptune as he had regret in his voice.**

"Obviously!" Blake thought as she was scowling.

 **"Yes, that was wrong" Neptune utterly spoke with disdain.**

 **"What I meant was, I was expecting you to be more…..More you know…Dry!" Sun tried to rectify his mistake but was making it worse "But you're not. You're actually kind of….. moist!"**

 **Blake was not taking kindly to Sun's attempts and neither were the other two.**

Everyone just kept laughing as Sun was not painting a good image of himself.

 **"Oh, good Lord!" Neptune mutters to himself as he looks at his hands to ignore his friend's embarrassing attempts.**

 **"You know what? You know what?" Sun was flailing around "I think I'd like to start over. Hi, I'm Sun Wukong"**

 **Blake decided to comply as she accepts his do-over.**

 **"Blake Belladonna"**

"Ten Lien says that Sun messes up his do-over" Yang betted as she raised ten Lien into the air but no one was biting as it seemed obvious that Sun was going to say something stupid.

 **"Hi, Blake I gotta tell you, I have never met a judge before" Sun states as he goes in for a joke "You know, voluntarily"**

"Oh Sun…!" Blake mutters in embarrassment as the laughing died down because it was now pathetic than funny.

 **Sun chuckles as Blake forces a smile.**

 **"Better?" Sun asks his friend who only turns to him in a unsettling expression.**

 **"Anything's better than** _ **'moist'!**_ **" Neptune retorts as he regrets not cancelling this date.**

"I'll say" Blake mutters out as everyone is feeling sorry for Sun.

 **Everyone wait's a moment as they read over their menu. But as expected Sun breaks the ice.**

 **" So how do you and Weiss know each other?" Sun asks Blake.**

 **"Oh, well, we met in the church choir" Blake replies as she looks over at Weiss "Then we found our kids were in the same preschool"**

 **"Next thing you know, we're on the carnival committee, doing the bake sale" Weiss jumps in as she reminisces her time with her friend Blake.**

 **"Which reminds me, I'm supposed to be snack mom next Tuesday" Blake asks Weiss "Can you switch with me?"**

 **"No problem" Weiss replies.**

 **"Thanks"**

 **They both look towards their dates like nothing happened and waiting for their dates to speak.**

Everyone looks at the screen and were surprised by how close knit the two were.

"Looks like you guys are besties" Ruby states as she as somewhat angry that her counterpart wasn't Weiss' bestie.

"Never mind that!" Weiss ignore Ruby's concern as she and Blake look at each other "We have kids!"

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"I mean it's entirely possible. I mean you guys are forty in this and clearly you guys can't wait that long for someone to….you know?" Nora was at a loss for words.

"Yes, but then who is the father of our children then?" Blake exclaimed as she gestured to Weiss who was too feeling sombre.

"Guys, it's just another universe, it's not you guys, so let's just move on" Ruby comforted her teammates as they both accepted Ruby's words and moved on.

"Plus, you guys can make babies with Sun and Neptune!" Yang happily joked as she puts her arms around Weiss and Blake's shoulders as they both blush furiously.

"Well it can't be that bad" they both thought as they both imagine what Sun and Neptune would be like as fathers.

Weiss imagined Neptune teaching their kid how to pick up girls and be a smooth talker which really infuriated her.

Blake imagined Sun teaching their kid how to steal and run away from law enforcement which is something she doesn't want.

In the end, the two girls were rethinking having kids with the boys.

Why they were thinking about it in the first place was beyond them?

 **"I got nothing" Sun admits as he continues to look at his menu.**

 **Both girls were taken aback by his bluntness but Neptune swoops in to keep the conversation going.**

 **"Hey, why don't we order some drinks?"**

 **Both girls are all for it.**

 **"Just iced tea for me" Weiss replies.**

 **"Oh, me too" Blake states.**

 **Neptune turns to Sun.**

 **"Sun, do you want iced tea?"**

 **"Why on Remnant, would I want iced tea?" Sun asks confused which made the girls glance at him.**

 **"Because you don't drink alcohol during the daytime" Neptune sternly tells his friend with the obvious indication of 'Just be normal!'**

"Wait? Sun drinks?" Ruby asks in complete confusion which only earned a shrug from her friends.

 **"Oh right….of course not!" Sun gets the message but not completely "Iced teas rocks, water back"**

Blake put her hand across her face as she groans.

 **The waitress who is revealed to be Yang walks pass the four.**

 **"Excuse me, miss?" Neptune calls for Yang as she walks to them.**

 **"Yes, can I help…..Sun?" Yang greeted then was surprised to see the infamous Sun Wukong. Player of Vale.**

 **Sun was surprised to, to say the least.**

Blake immediately perked up at the possibility that Sun had something with her partner Yang who was currently torn from making jokes and being shocked.

"Blake? I want you to know that I have no feelings for…!" Yang looked at her friend and tried to apologize.

"Yang" Blake interrupted "I know that you and Sun have nothing going on, so I'm not mad"

"Oh? OK" Yang replies as she turns her head to the screen as she doesn't notice the scowl that the Cat Faunus was giving her.

 **"Oh, hey, hi!" Sun replies as Yang looks ready to kill.**

 **"How come you never called me?"**

"Uh oh!" Yang exclaims as that can never be good.

"I had no idea, that Sun can be such a player?" Ren states as that quickly got Blake to defend him.

"He isn't!" Blake defended Sun as she was fighting a blush "Trust me his is not that smooth" Blake reminisces how Sun always acts around her.

But somehow he always manages to win her over.

 **Sun was nervous because of his date and Neptune was dreaded because of his best friend's past making the dates worse.**

 **"Well…Eh….heheh…!"**

 **Sun looks to Blake as she smiles at him in the awkward situation.**

 **"Funny story…..Long story. Tell you later" Sun explains to Yang as he was still coloured with nervousness "Can we get four iced teas please?"**

 **"I'll be right back!" Yang happily complies but then looks at Sun with disdain.**

"Just for the record, when I get hurt by boys…I make them hurt" Yang explains as she stares at the screen "I wonder what my other self will do?"

 **Sun looks relieved until he looks at Blake who forces another smile.**

 **"Old friend?"**

 **"Yeah, you know… Church choir, bake sale" Sun paraphrases Blake's earlier words as a cover but sadly it didn't work "You may not want to drink the iced teas"**

 **After Sun's bad first impression, behaviour, past fling and warning: everyone was less than pleased with him as the screen turns black.**

After the clip had ended everyone had mixed feelings about it.

Everyone (except Blake) found Sun's actions, hilarious! But at the same time really pathetic.

Blake however was really embarrassed and wanted to crawl under a rock, after she bashed Sun's head in with said rock.

"Well that was a thing?" Yang says as she tries to clear the air.

"I will certainly hope so"

The eight look up to see the cloaked being hovering over them as he continues to speak.

"I trust you all had fun?"

"Fun?" Blake scoffed as she rises to give the figure a piece of her mind "It was embarrassing! Why did we have to watch it!"

"Oh come on Ms Belladonna, if you believe that was embarrassing than you clearly don't know what's next to come" the cloaked being replied as he continues to speak "Besides it was more embarrassing for Mr Wukong than anyone else which is why I held him from seeing this, as there are more universes where you two are together and trust me are way worse than what you just witnessed."

Everyone gasped at the figure's words and no one was feeling anything more than Blake.

"What?" she asks as she was flabbergasted at the figure's words.

"I said too much" the cloaked being turned around before he teleports "Enjoy the next scene"

Blake sat back down as she thinks over the cloaked being's words.

"So, me and Sun are together in some universes?" she thinks as she drowns out the others teasing of what they just heard but she doesn't care.

She's on Cloud 9.

* * *

 **Right so we're off with the first chapter and I have to clear some things up.**

 **1) Yes I am still continuing Worlds Collide. For the readers of that fic, I am still writing it but with college and the drive to keep continuing it, I am in a bit of a rut with it. It would've been done in the summer but because of my laptop being fixed, I couldn't complete it.**

 **2) Yes I know that this chapter was very promoting BlackSun. Originally it was supposed to be Jaune and Ren as Charlie and Alan, and Nora and Pyrrah as Donna and Linda. But I decided against it as I think Sun fit the bill as Charlie.**

 **Now that I cleared those things up let me talk more about this fic. Yes it was inspired by** **Endless Possibilities For Jaune Arc** **by JC Of The Corn. I liked the idea and originally it was to include Jaune and Ruby being the focus but after thinking of this chapter, I decided the focus can switch around with them being in sitcoms and scenes from movies.**

 **Also I am more open of writing Renora into this fic after I watched V4E10, it really made me feel for the characters and the ship.**

 **Also I may have a few ideas but I need help from you guys with how to formulate them. Like which characters represent what character, so please send support my way with chapter ideas.**


	2. Beacon 99

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Season 1 Episode 1

Chapter 2

After the whole debacle with Sun being a clueless romantic (being generous here) and Blake's happy thoughts being stopped by the glares and teases she was receiving and the fact that two bright lights illuminated the room.

When the light died down it uncloaked Professor Ozpin and Glynda Goodwitch.

"Professors!" RWBY and JNPR called out to the still shocked Professors as they were confused at their sudden surroundings.

"Students!" Glynda exclaimed as she sat up "May you please explain, what we are all doing here?"

The two teams did the best they could to explain the situation to them and the two Professors were sceptical but chose not to make light of it since it was made clear to them that this 'cloaked being' was watching them.

"Well, then students let us begin watching" Ozpin calmly decided but was still on his guard until a letter appeared in his hand.

' _Don't worry Ozpin, I couldn't harm a fly and besides I plan on bringing in more experienced Huntsman and students here. Which will make it impossible to overpower all of you, so relax and have some coffee.'_

As soon as Ozpin read over the not, he noticed his cup was slightly filled and when he tasted it, it was a lot sweeter and he tasted cinnamon!

 **Pyrrah walked up to Jaune's desk and leaned on it while wearing a red shirt and tanned pants and the latter was wearing a Pumpkin Pete shirt with a leather jacket and jeans. They are both wearing Police Badges.**

"Hey look, now we have Jaune and Pyrrah on the big screen" Yang points out while Blake and Weiss explain about the previous cast for the previous universe, while of course leaving out the situation.

"Well, this should be interesting?" Ozpin mused as he sipped his cinnamon coffee.

However Pyrrah was hoping that this was going to be a romance scene like before but without the embarrassment.

 **"** **Hey, you heard anything about the new Captain?" the neat red head asked the scraggly blonde.**

 **"Uh, no and I don't care" Jaune replied with detest and then reminisced "I just wish Captain Port never left, he was the best!"**

 **"He was terrible!" Pyrrah retorted as she scoffed "You just liked him because he let you do anything you wanted!"**

"Well it looks like Ms Nikos and Mr Arc are detectives in a precinct and Professor Port is irresponsible. Honestly" Glynda observed as she was disappointed that one of her best Professors was a doormat.

"Ms Goodwitch, I assure you, that Professor Port is a good and responsible man. I am sure that will translate into….." Ozpin was about to theorize but was interrupted by the video still proceeding with a flashback.

 _ **Jaune and Blake are seated on roller chairs and had fire extinguishers in their hand as everyone was rooting for them to start.**_

 _ **"On your marks, get set…!" Jaune almost finished his sentence if it wasn't for an infuriated Captain Peter Port entering the room.**_

 _ **"What on Remnant is going on around here!" Captain Port bellowed out as Jaune and Blake stared at him.**_

 _ **"Fire extinguisher roller chair derby?" Jaune casually and simply replies without so much as a hint of fear.**_

 _ **"Okay" the Captain simply replied as he goes back into his office.**_

"You were saying?" Glynda rhetorically asked as she was angry that her inter-dimensional students were messing around.

"Everyone makes mistakes" Ozpin merely replies as he sips his coffee.

 _ **"And go!" Nora declared as both Blake and Jaune fired off the fire extinguisher and shot across the room.**_

"That looks like so much fun!" Yang and Nora yelled out completely ignoring the other students' warnings as they now sweat from Glynda's daze.

"What?" Glynda coldly muttered out as she does not tolerate tomfoolery.

"Nothing" the two hotheads muttered out as they sank back into their seats.

 **"What's your point?" Jaune asks as he fails to see the problem.**

 **"If I'm ever going to make Captain, I need a good mentor" Pyrrah confesses "I need my Rabbi"**

 **"Sorry dude….." Jaune speaks which makes him oblivious of the new Captain entering and the rest of the detectives changing their posture "But this new guy's gonna be another washed up pencil pusher who's only concerned with…" Jaune still doesn't notice the new Captain who is literally right behind him as he does a robotic voice.**

"Oh no" teams RWBY and JNPR gasped out as they knew what was going to happen.

"No, no, no, no!" Jaune was practically praying for not having anything bad happen to him.

"This will be amusing" Ozpin mused as he waited for the scene to play out.

 **"FOLLOWING-EVERY-RULE-IN-THE-PATROL-GUIDE!" Jaune does the motions of a robot "MEEP-MORP-ZEEP! ROBOT-CAPTAIN-ENAGAGE!"**

Everyone took a moment to let that sink in and they laughed so hard (except for Glynda and Jaune, Ozpin was more amused)

"Jaune….you are so screwed!" Yang stated as she was roaring with laughter.

"I'm sure…Ozpin will…..forgive you!" Pyrrah was stifling her laughs but was still amused none the less.

Even the silent Ren was on the floor along with Nora and Ruby. Blake was clinging to her lungs and Glynda was not pleased.

 **"Is that what you think?" the new Captain of the precinct; Captain Ozpin is standing promptly and unfazed behind the now nervous detective who turns to face as Pyrrah has a smug look on her face.**

 **"He-hey! New Captain alert!" Jaune nervously exclaims as he forces laughs "You must be the new C.O, I'm Detective Jaune Arc. Great to meet you"**

 **But unfortunately and hilariously: Ozpin did not let this go unpunished.**

"This is not going to be good" Jaune muttered out as he was avoiding the glares from Glynda by hiding in his seat.

 **"Now don't let me interrupt. You were describing what kind of person I'm going be" Ozpin was now publicly humiliating the young cop "I'd like you to finish"**

 **"That's not necessary" Jaune was now fighting for air but Ozpin had that face of steel "Or I can recap very quickly, sure" Jaune looked at Pyrrah to bail him out but she returned a smug smile "Um, let's see. I think I said some joke about being a washed up pencil pusher…"**

 **"Now do the robot voice" Ozpin demanded without so much as a hint of emotion.**

 **"Which….?" Jaune uttered out before Ozpin took over as everyone in the precinct was afraid and shaken up.**

 **"The robot voice you were doing when you implied I'm a rule-following robot. I want to hear it again" Ozpin was still hounding Jaune as everyone felt pity for him.**

The students and even Glynda were stifling laughs as some let out giggles.

For Glynda it was the fact that Ozpin was really pressing Jaune without so much of emotion and Jaune's reluctance and nervousness was enough to make her crack.

Ozpin however was smiling at how his other self was handling the situation.

" _Why does this happen to me_?" the blonde knight simply thought to himself as he sank lower into his seat.

 **In the end: Jaune was forced to do the robot voice but was to stressed and nervous to do authentically and do the moves right.**

 **"Meep-morp….-zarp…Robot"**

"Looks like cat got your tongue?" Ruby was the first to speak after the laughing died down

"Professor Ozpin, I want you to know that I will never do that-" Jaune tried to apologise but Ozpin raised his hand to silence him.

"I know Mr Arc" Ozpin stated but then threatened "But I will know if any of you do it and I won't be as merciful as my other self was!"

That put all the giggles in the two teams to zero!

 **"That's a terrible robot voice" Ozpin criticized as he was done hazing Jaune.**

 **"Yep" Jaune uttered out as he refused to look Ozpin in the eyes.**

 **"The next time I see you, I'd like you to be wearing a necktie" Ozpin ordered as he carried on like nothing happened.**

 **"Oh, actually, the last Captain didn't care if we wore ties" Jaune objected which made Ozpin turn around.**

"Jaune, learn when to stop" Ren advised as Jaune sank even deeper.

 **"** **Well, your new Captain does. And more importantly, he cares that you follow his direct orders. Everyone, I'm your new commanding officer: Captain Ozpin" Ozpin announced to the precinct as that made Pyrrah peppy.**

 **"Speech!" she called out which didn't earn a reaction from anyone.**

 **"That was my speech" Ozpin replied with the same steel expression.**

 **"Short and sweet" Pyrrah nervously complimented.**

 **"Sergeant Xiao Long; a word" Ozpin instructed the Sergeant: Taiyang Xiao Long as they both head down to Ozpin's office.**

 **"Yes, sir" Tai followed his new Captain but not before he gave Jaune a look before he is in the office as the screen turns black.**

"Hey wasn't that, Dad?" Ruby asked her sister who was also stunned but they both accepted the fact and moved on.

"Well that was…something" Glynda commented as she fixed her glasses.

"Yeah it was extremely hilarious!" Nora exclaimed as she was laughing at Jaune's misfortune.

"Well if it means anything, I found the robot voice quite charming" Ozpin admitted as he ignores all the flabbergasted stares heading his way "But if anyone wants to imitate me; have all the facts"

Ozpin remembers the times he caught students imitating him and then behaving like Jaune did in the video. His mind wanders to the blonde brawler of the legendary team STRQ.

"So what do you guys think the next video will be?" Weiss wonders as the others shrug.

"I don't know but let's hope it's not embarrassing or silly" Blake hopes as she does not want to be a victim of embarrassment again and by her guess neither does Jaune.

"We can only hope so, Ms Belladonna. We can only hope so" Glynda was really hoping not to witness anymore silly antics and irresponsibility from her students and teachers.

Everyone was now waiting for the next video to play as they predict what the next video will be.


	3. Bran Brian Hypothesis

Chapter 3

The Big Bang Theory

Season 1, Episode 2

"I wonder what's going to happen next?" Ruby mused as she was sitting impatiently for the next scene to come up.

"My guess is that it's going to be super embarrassing" Weiss replied as she was feeling nervous that it was her turn to be embarrassed.

"Let's hope so!" Yang exclaimed as she was super excited to see what's going to happen next. Since it will make good laughs to see her friends humiliated.

As they wait for the screen to come, Nora's stomach rumbled.

"I'm hungry" Nora claims as that sparked off most of the students hunger.

"Nora's right. We haven't eaten since breakfast" Jaune relented as he was starving.

That is until they all received food in a flash of light and somehow it was what they were thinking off?

"What just happened?" Glynda questioned as she inspects the salad laying in front of her.

"Well…..the man did say, all we had to do was think of what we wanted and we'll get it?" Ren answered as he looks at his ramen.

"I LOVE THIS MAN!" Nora yells as she scoffs down pancakes as the screen flares.

"Finally!" Ruby exclaims as she chews her cookies.

 **Jaune and Ren are laying down a heavy box with extreme care.**

 **"Watch your fingers. Watch your fingers" Ren advised as they let go of the box too early and Ren's fingers were hurt "Oh God, my fingers!"**

 **"You okay?" Jaune asked as he knelt down in tire.**

"Well looks like me and Jaune are in it this time" Ren states as he consumes his ramen.

"Wonder what's in the box?" Jaune asked as he eats his Pumpkin Pete's cereal.

 **"No, it hurt…" Ren stops as he views the messy apartment "Good God, look at this place?"**

Ren's jaw dropped when he viewed the apartment and was just as flabbergasted as his universal counterpart.

"Uh oh" Nora whispered as the rest of team JNPR knows how Ren is with cleanliness, even Weiss wasn't as nasty when it came to organisation.

"I agree with Mr Lie, that room looks like it was hit by Wind Dust" Glynda stated, astonished by someone capable of living there.

 **"So Yang's a little messy" Jaune shrugged.**

"Uh oh!" Yang whispered as Ren titled his head to stare at Yang, who was paralysed at the thought of hearing doing another 'cleaning' drill that Ren made team RWBY and JNP do when the rooms didn't meet his expectations.

 **"A little messy? The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy, this is chaos!" Ren exclaimed as he looks at the couch and picks up the flatware resting on it "Excuse me, explain to me an organisational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table's having a tiny garage sale" Ren retorted as he was uncomfortable in this mess as puts back the flatware.**

 **"Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organise and label the entire world around them?" Jaune mockingly asked his friend.**

"No!" Ren creepily answers as the members of both teams were distancing themselves from the ninja, who was giving strangely blinking with one eye which made even Glynda and Ozpin uncomfortable.

 **"No" Ren flatly says as he still inspected the apartment.**

Everyone was not surprised to hear that.

 **"Well they don't. Hard as it may be for you to believe, most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fibre content"**

 **"Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times!"**

"Yes!" Ren screeched at Jaune who dropped his cereal "Because we need to know how much fibre is in the stuff we eat so we're not constipated, WHEN WE HAVE A MISSION TO GO TO!"

Jaune looked horrified and signalled for anyone to come and help him.

No one dared to cross Ren's path.

 **"Come on, let's go" Jaune says as he walks to the door.**

 **"Hang on"**

 **Jaune looks back to see Ren starting to clean up the apartment.**

 **"What are you doing?" Jaune asked befuddled.**

 **"Straightening up"**

"THANK YOU!" Ren exclaimed, finally getting off Jaune's back who sighed in relief.

 **"Ren, this is not your home"**

"That is not anyone's home!" Ren screamed at Jaune again "That is someplace where Beowolves nest!"

"Hey don't look at me, it is _Yang's_ apartment" Jaune defended himself as Ren set his sight over to the blonde brawler, who was cowering in her seat.

"Damn you, Arc" Yang mentally cursed Jaune as well as get even after this whole thing was over.

 **"This is not anyone's home! This is a swirling vortex of entropy!" Ren retorts as he continues to clean up the place as Jaune walks towards him.**

"See!" Ren exclaimed as he continues to stare at Yang who as now hiding in her seat.

 **"When the transvestite lived here, you didn't care how he kept the place!"**

 **"Because it was immaculate!" Ren sharply replied "I mean you open that man's closet, it was left to right: evening gowns, cocktail dresses and his police uniforms!"**

Everyone was taken aback by the fact that Ren knew what was in the transvestite's closet.

 **"What were you doing in his closet?" Jaune asked concerned.**

 **"I helped him run some cable for a webcam" Ren replied as he was folding Yang's shirts.**

 **"Hey guys"**

 **Yang walks in with a yellow tank top and mini shorts as the boys turn to face her.**

"Looks like I still got in whatever universe!" Yang exclaims as the others did admit she looked great.

 **"Oh, hey Yang…" Jaune greeted back as he was becoming nervous "This just arrived, we just brought this up; just now!"**

 **"Great. Was it hard getting up the stairs?" Yang asked when she saw the box.**

 **"No" Jaune replied which made Ren shocked.**

 **"No"**

 **"Nooo"**

 **"** _ **Noooo"**_

"Judging from the collection of 'no's', I'm willing to bet that it was difficult" Ozpin voiced as everyone else agreed.

 **After the exchange of awkward no's, Jaune and Ren start to leave.**

 **"We'll get out of your hair" Jaune states as he walks to the door.**

 **"Okay, great, thank you again" Yang thanked them as she throws her bag on her couch which irritates Ren.**

Yang turned to look back to see if Ren was staring at her but he was no longer in his seat….but behind Yang staring at her manically.

"Eeep!" Yang screams as she jumps.

 **"Yang" Ren calls out which makes Jaune come rushing in "I just want you to know, you don't have to live like this…I'm here for you"**

"Well at least that Ren is nice about it, instead of acting like a psychopath…." Nora mutters which retracts Ren back in his seat in a flash.

"What'd you say?" Ren asked as that made Nora jump and drop her pancakes.

"No…..Nothing" Nora stuttered out as she smiles which still didn't calm an irritated Ren.

 **Yang was confused and Jaune was nervous and worried.**

 **"What's talking about?" Yang asks Jaune as he grabs Ren's arm.**

 **"It's a joke" Jaune replied.**

 **"I don't get it?"**

 **"He didn't tell it right"**

 **Jaune pulls Ren with him as they both leave the apartment.**

All the students sighed as what they assumed that Ren's counterpart was going to do something insane but then they noticed that the screen was still on.

 **Jaune is seen sleeping on his bed with a Pumpkin Pete shirt on and was in his drawers until a sound wakes him up.**

 **"Ren?" Jaune calls for his roommate as he gets out of bed.**

 **The next we see him holding a glowing light sword that looks like a prop from a sci-fi movie. Jaune continues to slowly approach the living room.**

"OH MY GOD!" Ruby happily exclaims as she jumps out of her seat and leaves behind rose petals, as she lands on the screen with stars in her eyes "ISTHATTHEPROPFROMTHEDUSTDUELSFILMTRILOGY,EEEPPP!"

Glynda had to use her Semblance, to place a still ecstatic Ruby in her seat.

 **"Ren!" Jaune shouts as he cautiously walks to the centre of the room only to see his door and Yang's door open as he deactivates his toy and puts on a frown.**

 **We see Yang sleep peacefully as Ren is playing housekeeper and cleaning up her apartment before Jaune comes up.**

Everyone was disturbed by the fact, Ren, the most logical and sensible person they knew had broken into a woman's apartment because he wanted to clean it.

All the students stare at their Ren who doesn't look fazed at the course of action being taken.

"No matter the costs!" Ren exclaims as he was proud of his alternate self.

 **"** _ **Ren**_ **!" Jaune hissed as he walks through the door.**

 **"Shhhhhh! Yang is sleeping"**

 **"Are you insane, you can't just break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night and clean!"**

 **"I had no choice. I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and just outside our living room was that hallway, and immediately adjacent to that hallway was… this!"**

 **"Do you realise that if Yang wakes up, there is no reasonable explanation as to why we're here?"**

"He just gave you a reasonable explanation!" Ren strictly stated as he was now glaring at Jaune.

 **"I just gave you a reasonable explanation!"**

No one was surprised by that answer.

 **"No, no! You gave me an explanation, it's reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers"**

 **"Don't be ridiculous. I have no peers"**

 **After their argument, Ren goes back to cleaning and Jaune is at his last legs.**

 **"Ren, we have to get out of here!" Jaune quietly demands which leads to Yang snoring.**

"Oh you guys are going to get caught" Yang states as she was sure her alternate self will catch them in the act.

"Doubt it" Ruby explained "You are a heavy sleeper"

Blake and Weiss vouched for that.

 **"You might want to speak in a lower register" Ren quietly suggested.**

 **"What?"**

 **"Evolution has made women sensitive to high pitched noises while they sleep, so that they'll be roused by a crying baby. If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register"**

"That does seem to make sense" Glynda concurred as she was thinking it over.

 **"That's ridiculous" Jaune replies in disbelief which makes Yang snore again.**

 **"No" Ren begins to lower his voice "** _ **THAT'S RIDICULOUS**_ **!"**

"No…. _THATS RIDICULOUS_!" Nora mimicked her friend as a means to mock him.

 _ **"FINE"**_ **Jaune caves and follows Ren's logic** _ **"I ACCEPT YOUR PREMIS, NOW PLEASE LET'S GO!"**_

 _ **"I AM NOT LEAVING, UNTIL I'M DONE!"**_ **Ren retorts as Jaune leans on the doorframe** _ **"IF YOU HAVE TIME TO LEAN, YOU HAVE TIME TO CLEAN"**_

"Couldn't have said it better myself" Ren says as he bows his head to his alternate self as a sign of respect.

 **Jaune continues to lean on the doorframe until he picks up pieces of clothing.**

 **"** _ **OH, WHAT THE HELL!"**_

"Oh you two are gonna get it" Ruby claims as she was scared what Yang would do.

"You don't know that…" Jaune stuttered out as he also feared of Yang would do "She can reasoned with, right?"

"Jaune" Pyrrah whispered to her partner "Yang gets angry when a strand of her hair is cut off"

Jaune takes that comment in.

"We're dead!"

 **Ren enters the kitchen with a chipper attitude as Jaune looks tired.**

 **"Morning"**

 **"Morning"**

 **"I have to say, I slept splendidly. Granted, not long, but just deeply and well" Ren shared as he takes out a bowl.**

"How is he so casual about this?" Jaune asked as he was reminded that it was Ren.

 **"I'm not surprised. A well known folk cure for insomnia is to break into your neighbour's apartment and clean" Jaune sarcastically replied as he rubbed his eyes.**

 **"Sarcasm?"**

 **"You think?" Jaune answers condescendingly.**

 **"Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement of Yang's quality of life"**

 **"You know what, you've convinced me, maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet" Jaune sarcastically suggests as he walks to the couch.**

 **"You don't think that crosses a line?" Ren asks, completely missing the sarcasm which agitates Jaune.**

"Looks like you can't recognise sarcasm?" Pyrrah voiced aloud which made some of them confused but were reminded that it was a different universe.

 **"Yes! For God's sake, Ren, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth"**

 **"You have a sarcasm sign?"**

 **Jaune looks at Ren and was too tired to continue explaining.**

 **"No, I do not have a sarcasm sign" Jaune replies as he sits down.**

 **"Do you want some cereal. I'm feeling so good today I'm going to choose from the low fibre end of the shelf. Hello, Sap Sally"**

"Glad to know that you're feeling good, considering that I'm going to wake up and…" Yang was saying until something interrupted her.

 **As Ren was preparing his breakfast, a certain blonde woke up.**

 **"Son of a Bitch!"**

"Right on time" Yang happily states as she can't wait to see what will transpire next.

"Oh no!" Jaune quietly exclaims.

 **"Yang's up" Jaune comments as he sips his coffee.**

 **"You sick, geeky bastards!" Yang shouts which makes Jaune and Ren look at each other.**

 **"How did she know it was us?" Jaune asked flabbergasted.**

 **"I may have left a suggested organisational schematic for her bedroom closet" Ren replied as he fidgeted with the bowl.**

"Why would you do that?" Jaune screams at Ren.

"Because it's helpful and IT'S ANOTHER ME!" Ren shouts back which deflates Jaune.

 **"Jaune!"**

 **"God, this is going to be bad" Jaune puts down his coffee in a frantic manner and gets up.**

"Nope it's going to hilarious!" Yang happily states as she munches down on some popcorn she summoned.

 **"Goodbye, Sap Sally, hello Bran Brian" Ren calmly returns the cereal and reaches for the other as Yang barges into the apartment.**

 _ **"**_ **You came into my apartment last night when I was sleeping?" Yang exclaims as that sent Jaune into panic.**

 **"Yes, but, only to clean" Jaune frantically explained.**

 **"Really more to organise, you're not actually dirty, per se" Ren unnecessarily corrected.**

 **"Give me back my key!" Yang ordered.**

 **"I'm very, very sorry" Jaune apologised without looking at a fuming Yang.**

 **"Do you understand how creepy this is"**

 **"Oh, yes, we discussed it at length last night"**

 **"In my apartment, while I was sleeping!"**

 **"And snoring. And that's probably just a sinus infection, but it could be sleep apnoea, you might want to see an otolaryngologist" Ren suggested as he walked over to a still angry but confused Yang "It's a throat doctor"**

"Mr Lie, you're not helping your case" Glynda informed Ren who shows no sign of remorse and disbelief of his alternate twin's actions.

 **"And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?" Yang faced Ren which caused Jaune to write something on a piece of paper.**

"If it's my shoes, a miracle worker" Yang says after swallowing a handful of popcorn.

 **"Depending on the depth, that's either a proctologist or a general surgeon" Ren answered and was confused by the question he was asked until Jaune** **holds up a sign reading 'Sarcasm'** **"Oh!"**

Everyone snickered at this despite the situation.

 **"God!" Yang exclaimed and was ready to walk out.**

 **"Okay, look, no Yang, I think what you're feeling is perfectly valid, and maybe a little bit later today when you're feeling a little bit less, for lack of a better word… violated, maybe we could talk about this some more" Jaune reasoned but Yang wasn't having it.**

 **"Stay away from me!"**

 **"Sure, that's another way to go"**

"Hahahaha!" Yang was laughing hard "This is the best clip yet!"

 **Yang was heading to the door but Ren stops her.**

 **"Yang, Yang, just to clarify because there will be a discussion when you leave, is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping, or do you also object to the imposition of a new organisational paradigm" Ren walks up to Yang who stares at him in disbelief and proceeds to leave the two roommates.**

Everyone gave a look to Ren in total disbelief but once again Ren did not see what the problem was.

 **"Well that was a little non-responsive" Ren states as he closes the door.**

 **"You are going to march yourself over there right now and apologise!" Jaune demanded which makes Ren laugh making him confused "What's funny?"**

 **"That wasn't sarcasm?" Ren asked behind the counter.**

 **"No!"**

"Guess he really can't understand sarcasm" Weiss ponders as she continues to watch.

 **"Wooh, boy, you are all over the place this morning" Ren claims as he leaves his apartment and walks to Yang's door and knocks.**

 **"I have a masters and two PhD's, I should not have to do this" Ren exclaims to himself as Yang opens the door.**

"What?"

Everyone in the room perked at the mention of the alternate Ren's credentials.

"Wow. This Ren must be a super genius" Nora exclaims.

"Wait does that mean Jaune is smart too?" Ruby ponders aloud.

"Doubt it" Jaune intercepts Ruby claim as he honestly doesn't see himself as smart.

 **"What?"**

 **"I am truly sorry for what happened last night, I take full responsibility. And I hope that it won't colour your opinion of Jaune…" Ren apologised which worked as Yang's rage was lessening but he ends up making it worse for his blonde friend.**

"Yes we're out of the woods" Jaune smiles but the others don't really think it's over.

 **"Who is not only a wonderful guy, but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover" Ren admits which makes Jaune, who was listening, face palm and sit down with embarrassment and Yang staring at him with disbelief and closes the door.**

Everyone lets that sink in and some of them laugh out loud, blush and if your name is Jaune; it made their faces go redder than Ruby's cloak.

Pyrrah was blushing the hardest as she was thinking over what the alternate Ren has said about her crush and was visualizing a captivating and arousing scenario.

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" Jaune was shaking Ren like a rag doll who was in turn finding the situation amusing.

"Jaune I am sorry for what happened but since it's a different reality, I take no responsibility" Ren states as Jaune just sinks in his chair.

 **Ren goes back to the apartment and looks at an embarrassed Jaune.**

 **"I did what I could"**

 **The screen turns black.**

"I know this isn't the best time, but…?" Yang was snickering so much "But are you really gentle in the sack?"

"THAT'S IT!" Jaune yells in frustration and embarrassment as he throws his empty bowl at the screen only to have it be caught by the cloaked figure.

"I would advise that you don't damage the screen, it's quite expensive to replace it" the cloaked figure advised as he vanished once again.

Jaune sits back down as Yang is still snickering as the screen flares up again.

* * *

 **So sorry for the delay. But since this was three scenes instead of the preferred one, there were complications with how the character will react to it (I personally think I wrote Ren's reaction poorly but good enough for the scene). This is the longest chapter but I don't think it's the best written but that's for you to decide.**


End file.
